The conversation I had with my 4 year old at the gas station as we were leaving:
Him: Why did you hug that guy?
Me: Why do you think?
Him: For your blog?
Him: What if he said no?
Me: 2 ladies just did.
Him: Is someone else hugging them?
Me: (with tears about to spill over) I hope so honey, I hope so.
The 3rd guy that did hug me after the first two said no agreed to hug me with a very lukewarm, “I guess so.” He kind of held out his arms in a ‘just get it over with’ gesture. After leaving the gas station, I needed to mail some packages out and had been looking forward to the hugs I would get at Bulldog Express. I began thinking that maybe I just didn’t have it in me today. But no, it’s times like this that are the hardest but the most important to remember that it’s not about me. They didn’t say no because they didn’t like me, they said no because of past experiences. Whether those experiences had to do with hugs or just general mistrust of strangers, it doesn’t matter. I can’t be so egotistical as to think it had anything to do with me. I shook the hurt off and reminded myself I must keep going.
I was certainly rewarded in Bulldog Express including being told that my hugs help to give them pause in their day. It breaks up the mundane and provides them an opportunity to be joyful. Now that is more like it. (although, it’s not about me…) Next I went to Food Lion where I was helped by a pleasant employee. She laughed at my sheer inability to use the self check out. (It was pretty pathetic, but pretty on par with the way my day was going.) I asked her for a hug as I was leaving and her smile lit up her face. I left with gratitude and the knowledge that I will keep going. 257 more days and then? Well, we shall see…
Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.