Day 145 – Guess I’ve Always Been This Way

15 HUGS, 3 children, 10 adults (1 husband, 1 Reverend at Unity Church of the Triangle, 3 new church friends, 4 Sunday school helpers, 1 neighborhood friend)

The minister at my church returned to service today after a 2 month sabbatical. Even before he stepped on stage he appeared almost troubled. Perhaps he was just overwhelmed at being back? He immediately joked about how he expected to come back with profound words of his experience, but that he didn’t have any. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. There was a lot he had to share. Most of it, though, was centered around already having what you are looking for. This really resonated with me. I often try to find myself through books, experiences, travels. Here he had 2 months of experiences and what moved him most was returning back to his church just to find that the energy he had been looking for was here all along. Perhaps here is where I should be looking as well.

I thought about this on my way home. I started remembering how important hugs were to me as a child. I always hugged my parents right before bed. I remember feeling awkward at times when friends of my parents were over and it was bedtime. How can I hug my parents and not their friends? Would it be ok to hug them? I didn’t always know these friends well, but weren’t they just as deserving of hugs as my parents? (Yes, I really thought these things when I was 5.) Well, by the time I was tucked in to bed, every single person in my home was hugged. I made sure of it.

Then I got older. Why did I go against who I am as a person? Why did I feel like I needed to go find myself? Did I really think life would get more perfect than it already is? I mourn for the hugs that I missed in those years. From now on I will try to remember that I already have everything I need right here and right now. 2 arms that are great for hugging and a whole lot of love to give.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.


4 thoughts on “Day 145 – Guess I’ve Always Been This Way

  1. don’t know when we learn to turn ourselves off……and then we spend the next years…finding ourselves again. Your church looks fabulous….I went to the web site and found myself wanting to visit there……………have a great week….be a great week and blessings.

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