Day 215 – There You Are.

20+ hugs, 2 children, lots of adults (1 husband, 12+ church friends, 8+ new church friends)

I was inducted as a new member of the Unity Church of the Triangle today. When hubby asked if I was excited or nervous I responded with, “it’s just another day at church.” And, I meant it. I was excited, but only because I was going to be with this new community of friends I have fallen in love with. When I started this blog I talked a lot about community and how important it is in our lives. I believe I proved that to myself today. On 3 separate occasions people commented on my smile. I was told (in jest) that I was smiling too big, that I had a great smile, and that my happiness was apparent through the vastness of my smile. (ok, I made that last one up, but it was something like that…go with me here.)

When I was young and throughout my teenage years I was often told how much my smile lit up a room. I was complimented on a regular basis. It was because I felt contentment. I was truly happy. I loved life and I loved being who I was. I was kind, loving, and hugging everyone in sight. Then, life happened. I went through a delayed teenage angst. I tried learning who I “really” was. I moved away from family, friends and the community I had grown up in. I moved away from the very essence of what made me, me. It can be hard to share love with others that you have just met. It’s awkward and embarrassing. To avoid these feelings, I just hid my love from everyone. Eventually I did find love and commitment as well as the joys of motherhood. I told myself that was enough. Yet, that smile still evaded me. I caught glimpses of it now and then, but I knew it wasn’t permanently there. What was I missing? What did I need to help me find that smile I had rooted so deep inside that really wanted to shine so brightly again?

The answer was always there. Love. So, here I am creating hug awareness. Surrounding myself with a new community. Loving everyone as I am meant to do. Oh, and look at that. My smile has returned. Welcome home.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.

 

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