It’s amazing the changes that take place when you shift your focus from yourself to others. I felt that shift happen close to the middle of this year. At times I have lost the focus, but when it becomes clear again it’s amazing how much happier and easier life seems to be. There is much less of a woe is me attitude and more of a what can I do for you attitude.
I notice that when I hold on to the woe is me attitude, I can’t get happy no matter what I try. I try to shift my thinking. I try to meditate (which doesn’t work because when I am woeful meditation is the last thing I want to do). I try indulging in selfish acts like reading. Ok, I know that isn’t technically a selfish act, but it can be when I am reading almost all day and I have 2 kids to take care of. At the end of the day I find myself asking “why?”. Why can’t I just get happy?
This is right about the time I get the little reminder again, usually in the form of a hug, that I am not the only person in the universe. (although I REALLY like to think so at times) Once the hug is done I find myself smiling. Not because I made myself happy, but because I made someone else happy. This in turn causes me to want to hug someone else. Then, this thought often turns in to, “what more can I do?” Next thing you know I am leaving love notes on cars and buying hot chocolate for garbagemen. This is when I become truly happy. And, it doesn’t even have to be those grand gestures. Sometimes all I have to do is remember that my children are not deliberately trying to sabotage my life. They are simply trying to learn about life. When I can remember this I can focus on ways to make them happy rather than on ways to just keep them from making me unhappy. Shift.
These shifts help foster my own happiness and are coming more and more frequently and lasting longer and longer as my year progresses. I look forward to the day when this is no longer something I need to work at, but my natural way of life that I have to simply maintain.
Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.