4 HUGS, 2 children, 1 husband, 1 Mother in Law

So I have realized something. Vulnerability is really hard for most people. I know, I know news flash, right? It becomes so much easier to recognize something in someone else once you have pinpointed it in yourself. I remember when I got my hugging pin (it says, I am a hugger) I thought that if I wore it enough someone would comment and ask me for a hug. No one ever did. No one has ever even mentioned the pin. And, there have been times (including today) that I encountered people who I am pretty sure know that I am the hugging lady and allowed me to walk away from them without mentioning that I didn’t hug them. Way back when in the beginning of this blog I would have assumed this was because they didn’t want to hug me. Now, I realize it is more likely that they are too afraid of rejection. They might think that just because I am wearing a hugging pin doesn’t mean that I want to hug. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe I liked the design. Maybe it was worn for a school project. Aren’t these the type of thoughts that keep us from allowing ourselves to get vulnerable? These thoughts keep us safe.

I should know. I had them this evening. I have hugged the employees at Carfix before but for some reason my fear of rejection reappeared when I picked up my car. I began thinking what if they say no? What if they laugh at me? What if they get embarrassed around their coworkers and only hug me out of obligation? So you know what I did? I left without 1 single hug. What?! Who was that person? I think I must have been possessed by my former self. This was a good reminder for me that even with the knowledge that I hug it still takes a lot of courage for someone else to break out of their own habitual fears to ask me for a hug. Even I still have trouble at times which is why it’s important for me to practice, practice, practice. (Oh how I love my “job”)

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.