Day 345 – What Choice Do I Have?

9 HUGS, 2 Air Hugs, 2 children, 4 adults (1 husband, 1 Mother in law, 1 Aunt, 1 Uncle)

I was so happy to get more hugs today! Even though I was feeling better I was still being cautious with the neighbors (hence the air hugs) but family, well that’s a whole different story. They may not have been as close or as tight as I like, but if I only get to see you once in a blue moon, well you better believe you are getting a hug. Now, I am going to caution you all, this post is about to get heavy.

How often have we looked at someone’s situation and thought, “I don’t know what I would do in their case.” “I don’t know if I would have the strength to do what they do.” I know I have said this numerous times. The reality is I know exactly what I would do. Exactly what I needed to. I know this because I have done it. 10 years ago I chose a path of nutrition to heal my MS. The reason for my decision was because I didn’t tolerate any of the medicine well. When I learned of the MS diet I laughed it off. I mean I had to give up ice cream, cheese, all dairy as a matter of fact, no hydrogenated oils (it’s in everything), no beef…the list goes on. There was no way I could do that. Fast forward one month. I was laying in bed after a heavy dose of steroids and began to cry because I realized I didn’t have the strength to pull the covers over me. That was my rock bottom. I was willing to try anything. The first month was tough, but after that month I had more energy than I had had in years. That kinda made the whole thing a LOT easier. I often heard (and still hear), “I don’t think I could do it.” Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not for everyone. Medicine just wasn’t for me. At some point you have to make a choice on whether you are going to survive this life or actually live it. I wanted to live it.

Yet still I find myself questioning the hard stuff, “What if one of my children died before me?” “What if it was my husband?” I don’t know how I would do it. Again, yes I do. I would survive. It would be grueling and there would be moments of darkness that I would be sure I wouldn’t make it through, but I would. I may not like it but I would survive. And, after all was said and done I would find myself asking the same question, “Do I want to just survive the rest of my life or live it?” I am certain I would once again choose to live it.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.


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