Letting Love In

A lot of new hugs (new friends, new church friends, a waitress, a bouncer)

I have so much to share but have been at a loss on where to begin. The past 4 days have been so full of love. A short while ago I decided to practice tearing down the walls I built around myself. These walls protected me from letting others in. What I thought was that if they couldn’t see the “real” me, then when they didn’t like me it wouldn’t matter. The problem I ran in to was that when people did like me I didn’t believe them. So many of my relationships were one sided without the other person even being aware of that. What a lonely, ugly place to be in.

My hugs have done wonders for chipping away at the wall but the last little bit had to be all me. I had to finish demolishing the last bit of wall that remained. The hardest part was realizing that I couldn’t actually work at that. I just had to be. I had to sit back and allow me to shine through. The demolishing couldn’t be done from the outside in, but from the inside out. I had to look at my friends and family directly in the eyes as they shared their love with me and allow myself to believe them. There have been quite a few tears. It is overwhelming to accept such pure love.

An amazing thing happened when the last of that wall crumbled. My relationships with others have deepened and I am an active participant in that. I no longer worry about scaring someone away because I want to share my love and myself with them. If they are not ready to accept it, I will never be sorry to have chosen to love. In the process I have begun attracting others who are as willing as I am to share their love. That just makes me want to run around hugging everyone and shouting at the top of my lungs, “I LOVE YOU ALL!” Don’t dare me, I just might do it.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.

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10 thoughts on “Letting Love In

  1. I saw your radiance the first day I met you. The smile that lights up the room. Thank you for bringing the rest of you out for all of us to love. Spread that awesome light, girl.

  2. Good for you for breaking through that wall. I’ve had conversations with two people in the past few weeks about that exact same idea of not presenting your true self… What I’ve said and what I think is true is that people have the idea that if they don’t present their true selves they won’t feel hurt if people don’t like them. But instead what actually happens is that when people don’t like them or don’t like something they do, they feel like “oh. But if you only knew who I really am, you wouldn’t feel that way.” And that’s just a source of regret… A source of regret and sadness.

    I find that when I truly am myself and present myself in that way, if someone doesn’t like that, it’s quite easy to not mind. They just are one of the people who are not designed to connect with me or to connect with me about whatever specific aspect. And if it’s really me they don’t want to connect with, that just means we’re different people, and that feels perfectly fine.

    And of course you are spot on that the love you have coming towards you feels much more real and feels much more like it’s really coming towards YOU when it is fully you that you are and fully you that you are presenting outwards. So good for you for realizing that! Really. Congratulations! That’s a major life turning point. Enjoy vulnerability and openness! They’re amazing things. And the follow-up to finding that for yourself of course is offering that to other people – offering as safe and non-judgmental a chance as possible for someone to be vulnerable and be loved for exactly who they are.

    • Yes. Exactly Aaron. I think it’s going to take a little more time to be completely comfortable with the vulnerability thing, but I am getting there. And, I really have to say, thank you for being you. {HUG}

      • Thank you. One thing that may help as you continue to explore this is to think of being vulnerable as a gift. People like being shared with and people like being trusted. So to offer yourself openly and fully to someone is like giving a gift to them. Since this is the language we speak, it is in many ways like a hug. And of course as you offer people more of yourself, you will find (or it sounds like you already have) that people who are trusted in are more willing to trust, and the vulnerability – like a hug – becomes reciprocal. I promise you too that as you get more welcoming of being vulnerable and open with who you really are, your hugs themselves will become much much better.

  3. This is so wonderful Melinda, and I can identify with some of your hesitations in the past. I think I still have some too and with time and all the Love I feel from you, I know I will get to the end of that journey too. One thing I have never apoligized for is how much I Love and I know I got that from my Grandma. She is the one person I always knew loved me unconditionally, even though I lost her when I was 11. I was lost and searching for love so long after that, and some choices weren’t the best ones, but you learn along the way and even when I got hurt I still wouldn’t give up the love in my heart. I always see the best in people first and my Mom often said through the years that I should become more hard and non-trusting, but I never wanted to go that way. My Grandma was so loving and kind and not a mean bone in her body and I chose to be like her, I loved her so much.
    This is my hug to you, my new dear friend.

    • Oh Cindy, I can relate to that so much only I had to choose love on my own. Both my Dad and Grandma were such loving souls who became hardened with life. Their hearts were and are still there they just learned how to guard it a little more closely. I am going to practice never allowing that to happen. Life is too precious not to love with a wide open heart. {HUG} to you.

      • Thank you for sharing about your Dad and Grandma, so many things tie us all together in this world, like a string that never breaks. We are a part of that string and I hope it gets bigger and bigger everywhere. (Big Hug)

  4. Somehow…I have lived my life as an introvert! I am not necessarily shy…I just dont participate in social settings. I tend to avoid them. That is a wall I need to break down. Not sure how to go about it though. I have a million acquaintances…but no true friends.

    Thank you for the inspiration though…and maybe I can work harder at it.

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