I’m A Gambling Man

0 New Hugs

Have you ever read something that just completely stopped you in your tracks? The words just leapt off the page (or computer monitor) grabbed you by the collar and screamed, “LOOK AT ME!”? You instantly knew the moment you began reading that the answer to a question you may not have even known you had was about to be answered? No? Me either.

Just kidding. It actually just happened. I have been in a kind of funk lately. I don’t really have anything to complain about, but I am not quite seeing all the beauty in the world the way I normally do. It has been a little depressing. I have been thinking a lot about why this would be. I have a ton of things I could blame it on, but none fit quite right. Then I read thisWould you bet on you? A blogpost by Antonio Neves at Positively Positive. The line that really grabbed me? “It took me some time to learn, but until you’re willing to bet on you, it’s hard to get others to do the same.”

In the post he describes not following through with projects and allowing most things in his life to be ‘good enough’. He allowed opportunities to pass him by and didn’t follow up with phone calls he should have made. He was afraid of the commitment involved. The funny thing is this does not describe me at all. I almost always follow through with projects, giving them my all. I never let opportunities pass me by. I am not afraid of committing to something and seeing it through. So, why did his last statement resonate with me so much? I’ll tell you why. Sometimes it’s not about the actions you put forth but the passion behind them.

I have spent so much time in fear of being vulnerable. I have been so afraid of giving 100% of myself even while putting forth 100% of my efforts. I lacked the confidence in my actions because I was not willing to bet on me. What if I put myself out there and it’s not good enough? What if I make a complete fool of myself? What if everything that I am is not enough for whatever project I am working on? I have gotten to the point where I am just frustrated. There have been a ton of great opportunities that have just barely passed me by. So, while I may finally be giving at least 90-95% of myself, it’s just not enough. I needed Antonio’s message tonight to show me that I will never be able to give 100% until I am finally willing to bet on me. I’m all in.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.

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2 thoughts on “I’m A Gambling Man

  1. I have felt like this my whole life (I have spent so much time in fear of being vulnerable) it’s paralyzing, the questions listed to myself I have asked a million times…..I guess living in the solution (betting on me) is the alternative to living in the problem (my fear) at 51 years old, is it too late? I’m generally an upbeat, positive person. but I do think I have quite a few days as described in the writing…..I need a hug, lol lol

    • I don’t think it is ever too late. One of my favorite quotes is “Everything is okay in the end, if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.”
      – Unknown {HUG} to you.

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