Big Old Mess

1 New Hug (I am sure there were more, but my brain has been in a kind of fog lately) 1 waiter at Tobacco Road

Over the past 5 or so days I have been a big old mess. Here, this example should tell you just how much of a mess I am. Saturday morning I was feeling down. As I was talking with my girlfriend (the one with the 1 1/2 year old beauty) she decided to cheer me up by telling me she dressed her daughter in skinny jeans. The thought of this was just so precious I began to cry before she could even finish telling me how she looked. I have been a MESS!

These are the moments I wonder, “Does Deepak Chopra have a bad day? What about Oprah? Do these type of positive, uplifting people ever want to put a hex on other people’s houses?” Because let me tell you, at times I do. This is a side of me that I am always so hesitant to share because it is so ugly. If I met myself during one of these times I am not someone I would choose to be friends with. Honestly, I am not sure why I am telling you all this. Maybe sharing is a way that I can release myself from the embarrassment and shame of feeling this way. Maybe I am hoping that some of you can relate and share your own stories so that I won’t feel so alone. Maybe I am just looking for validation.

What I can tell you is that I am forever grateful to those who love me unconditionally. They know to see through the mess and pull out the good in me. They know that through it all I need laughter, hugs and compassion. Rather than turn their back on my ugliness, they accept my momentary hardness knowing their kindness will remind me of all that is good in this world.

Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.

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2 thoughts on “Big Old Mess

  1. As I’ve told you before, in order to be truly happy, you must experience true sadness. In order to be th eloving, kind caring ,compassionate person you are, you are going to go through the opposite- the mean, ugly, down times. The object tis to experience he bad, and get through it as quickly as possible. Each day you make many decisions on how you handle every situation. Sometimes you handle them well, sometimes you don’t. Minimize the “don’ts” and maximize the “do’s”. Friends love you for who you are- in good times and bad- not for who you think they want you to be.

    Ed

  2. I find it eerily ironic that as I write this I am dealing with a lot of shadowy feelings myself. I do think it is part of the natural ebb and flow of life in this dualistic place of opposites. I think it is important to acknowledge the feelings that we think of as negative. They are messages to us, signals to take action in some sort of self-healing way. When I get in my funks, I try to look for the gifts or the message as part of the process for helping myself out of the mood trap. Hugs to you.

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