I have learned so much about myself in the past few years. Ever since beginning my hug journey I learned that the only limitations I have are in my head. That led me to breaking free of expectations I thought others held of me. From there I have chosen to dig deeper in to my soul to learn about what really makes me tick. I am now in the throes of learning how to live my best life while accepting all of the little challenges that get thrown at me along the way. I find the best way to do this is to be still and undistracted. This is the reason I have been slightly absent lately. But, oh what I have learned and experienced.
I recognized awhile ago that I have trust issues. Especially when it comes to friends. I completely accept others for who they are but worry that others don’t accept me for who I am. This comes from a place of feeling so different than everyone else. I have seen far too often people gossip about things that I know I am guilty of, like poor etiquette, bad fashion and choices that go against the grain. I just had not yet accepted myself so how could I trust others to accept me. (except for those wonderful few that have known me since childhood. only problem is they don’t live close enough to see on a regular basis)
Inevitably in accepting myself I have found that tribe that lives close by. It has taken years to open up, some heart ache, some misunderstandings and a whole lot of love. I have recently even exposed my vulnerability by sharing how difficult it is to open myself up to their friendship. Their response? Agreeing to a picnic on my living room floor for my birthday because that is what I wanted. As if that wasn’t enough, they
forced helped me expand the boundaries of our friendship by engaging me in the trust drop. You know, where one person falls backward and lets the other one catch them? I was so terrified and in awe that they loved me this much. They knew I would cry (pretty sure there were many jokes about this) and wouldn’t let me back out. So, I did it. kind of. I guess at the last second I put my foot back, but mostly I let them catch me. I cried. I felt exhilarated. I felt loved.
Please accept this blog as my virtual hug to you.