Y’all still out there?

Sigh. Life. Isn’t it great (awful, amazing, frightening, peaceful, ever changing)? I was getting ready to start a new blog after not having blogged in well, over a year and as I opened wordpress I felt such a rush of emotion. A rush of nostalgia for my hug space. I couldn’t pass by and not say hi.

Now, I don’t know what to say. This past year has been full. That’s the best way to describe it. I spent so much time devoted to my spiritual books and practices that I came to the realization nothing will ever change unless I apply it to real life. GAH! Who knew it would be so hard?? I suppose deep down everyone knows it. That’s why most of us avoid it.

Turns out I have (had) a pretty deep aversion to vulnerability. Me. The hug lady. Yet, somehow I always knew it. I touched on it briefly during my year of hugs and shortly after. My biggest challenge has always been being vulnerable with those closest to me. I have no problem being open to people that will never see me again, but to show my full self to those closest to me who can potentially reject the real me? It induces a fear that I have only ever felt one other time, which was right before being diagnosed with MS. During those few weeks before my diagnosis, I was filled with this paralyzing fear that I was about to be sentenced to death. THAT is the feeling I get when life requires me to be vulnerable around those I love. So, I have spent the last few weeks confronting that fear. I have cried A LOT. I have allowed those walls to go back up around my heart A LOT.

Yet, here I am. Still alive and all. Would you look at that.

I’ve missed you all. {HUG}

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7 thoughts on “Y’all still out there?

  1. Hi Melinda!
    What a treat to get a blog post from you! Please let us know where to find your new blog, when it’s up! Kindness and integrity – two things I value most, and which are always so evident in what you write. Thanks for “letting your light shine!”

  2. Hi Melinda, so happy to see you again. I have always loved your posts and blog. A year or two back you sent me a little seed of happiness. I still have it on my desk and it always brings a smile to my face and I always think of you. Your kindness will always touch my heart. I hope you and your family are well. Blessings to you. And of course sending you lots of hugs back. Coleen 🙂

    • Hi Coleen! I keep my little seed of happiness on my desk at work. It always brings me such joy. I love that yours reminds you of me. I feel honored and blessed to have found such an amazing community of people through my blog. You are forever in my heart. I hope you are doing well! {HUG}

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