You ever heard of HSP? Highly sensitive people? No, I never had either until a few months ago when I stumbled across some article describing them. It was like someone was describing my life. It felt good and less lonesome to know there were others like me. HSPs are more sensitive to their surroundings. Often crying or throwing a fit over what others deem as insignificant. We feel others emotions and hurts as though it were our own. We take a lot of time trying to be more “normal”. As other non-HSP people suggest, we try to suck it up and move on or to stop blowing it out of proportion. But all that does is lead us into numbing our feelings. We eat, drink or throw ourselves into work in order to distract ourselves from feeling so much. We may do it so well that one day we no longer feel. And while others may commend us on our ability to change, all we keep thinking is ” what is wrong with me?” Because by becoming “normal” we lose ourselves. Yet, the change wasn’t conscious, so we can’t even pinpoint why we are suddenly so depressed.
As much as I don’t like to feel labeled, there is a certain freedom in hearing someone else describe what you have such difficulty putting in to words. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone. And, while I pride on being different, my emotional side just caused so many people such discomfort that I felt wrong in sharing it. Today, I read http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/07/22/10-life-changing-tips-for-highly-sensitive-people/ from Marc and Angel Hack Life (love them!!). This made me feel at peace and joyful. Like, I want to start singing “I’m emotional and I know it” to the tune of I’m sexy and I know it. Who sang that? I forget and I’m too lazy to look it up right now. Please don’t sue me.
I am learning to embrace my sensitive side. It hurts at times, but it hurts even more to hide behind walls. So when you find me on an emotional rollercoaster (which will be
often all the time) just know that I understand the only way to feel the amazing highs of life is to feel fully the lows of life. And, what the hell…I love rollercoasters!