I have been pursuing a lot of energy work as a way to clear old patterns/behaviors/things that no longer serve me and to assist me in living my Truth. I have seen a Shaman and an intuitive healer. I have meditated on clearing my chakras. I have purchased and received as gifts many crystals and other energetic jewelry. Last night, I drove 5 hours to DC to have reiki performed on me as well as some other energy work that is a little more personal that you don’t need to know about. (ok, fine, it was a v-steam)
But, driving 5 hours? That seems a little extreme don’t you think? No. No, I don’t. I believe that the energy work that works best are the ones you are drawn to. The practitioners that you are drawn to. After all it’s your inner voice – your Truth – that is guiding you there. I was forwarded a random blog post about the type of reiki that this practictioner performed. I was intrigued. The more research I did, the more my body screamed, YES! Do this! So, I researched practictioners close to me. They were around, but my body didn’t sing when I found them. I called the original person in DC and the conversation was magical. That is where I was meant to be.
After 2 hours (of a one hour session) I felt like I had been raked through the coals. I was exhausted from crying. I was blown away by the imagery created during the session. Mostly, I was so grateful for this person brought into my life.
I went back to my hotel (I am NOT driving back 5 hours after something like that) alone. I had been anticipating that almost as much as the reiki itself. I couldn’t wait to meditate on my experience, to read the books I had brought, to maybe even write a blog post. I couldn’t wait for me time.
Only, when I got back, I found all kinds of crazy shameful, negative thoughts flowing through my mind. I drank too much wine (which I know blocks my energy), I ate foods I shouldn’t, and missed my family terribly wishing they were here with me. Woah. Wasn’t expecting that. It was such a downward spiral that I even ordered some cheesecake (with gluten and sugar that is not ok for my health) because I figured, I am already on that spiral, might as well enjoy the ride down. Do you think I did? No, of course not. That just led to more uncomfortable feelings that I kept trying to push away. So I turned on the TV in hopes of drowning the noise out. I couldn’t sleep and every time I woke up (every half hour), I found myself submerged in the self loathing again. Well, shit. Maybe the reiki wasn’t the right thing for me.
About 8 this morning, I woke up for the day. And something had shifted. I woke up with the instant thought, “I am so grateful to be alive that I may enjoy this day”. What? That’s a little different than the voice I was used to hearing all night long. At first I was confused, but then I thought back on all the times I experienced a big energy shift when working with a practitioner. Something similar has happened each time. Almost like all of the junk is rising to the surface on it’s way out of my body and out of my life.
This morning I couldn’t wait to share this experience with you. Even though I wish I had handled myself a little better last night, it is what it is. I did what I did and it is over. There is no more shame, no more judgment. Just peace. I can’t wait now to meditate on what I have experienced and when I am done I will be so ready to head back to my family and squeeze their faces off (because that is literally what I do). I will head home grateful for the experience, ready to move forward with a little less junk in my trunk.
When your inner voice is telling (or screaming) at you to go do a thing, go do that thing. No matter how crazy it sounds. You won’t regret it. That inner voice, it knows a thing or two.