Meltdowns are a sign of progress, yes?

My to do list: 

Prep house for selling

Relocate to a new state

Keep some semblance of normalcy for the kids

Maintain a healthy relationship with hubby

Continue spiritual growth

Clearly, that is not enough because I up and adopted a dog too. GAH! What was I thinking? But look, he’s soooo cute.  

 
He’s a year old, so while he was potty trained and crate trained by the amazing Saving Grace (where I adopted him from); coming in to a new environment is taking some getting used to. For the last 5 days all of those items above on my to do list went to the wayside. There was no meditating for my spiritual growth. Tater Tot (that’s puppy’s name) was peeing everywhere so, no prepping the house for selling. I was yelling at my kids for every little thing because I was so overwhelmed. Oh, and don’t let me forget to mention that we had the ice storm. Hubby was away for an overnight in Atlanta when it hit. He got stuck there for 5 days. 5 days! 24 hours of which I lost power. Yup. Reading that back, I realize that not having a meltdown, probably would have been more concerning. 

There is something about a meltdown that is so cleansing. It sucked. It hurt. I was embarrassed and frustrated. I felt completely out of control. Then it was over. 

After it was over, hubby and I talked and connected – relationship getting back on track? Check. 

I realized that Tater Tot needed to be brought out more frequently than I expected. No more peeing in the house? Check (for now)

A new checklist for the kids to keep them on track of the things that have been frustrating me was put in to place. Yelling ceased? Check. (Again, for now)

Prepping the house for selling? Turns out during all that chaos, I had actually kept that up. Closets were purged, 9 large bags of garbage were thrown out, 2 boxes of books were donated and a pile of clothes and blankets are ready for donation too. Check.

And, that spiritual growth? Oh, it’s such a sneaky thing. It keeps happening whether we think it is or not. No matter how hard I judged myself, there was growth happening. All of these challenges were opportunities for me to rise above and see things differently. Not better, just differently. I melted down. Wonderful. That is what I needed for my growth. I needed to let go of all expectations of myself and just stop judging. To accept that there are good days and bad days and through them all I am the same beautiful soul that I always have been. To understand that I will probably continue to judge myself, have bad days, want to control everything around me, and fall in to pits of despair (especially during the relocation) and not only is that ok, but it is the magic of being human. This life is a miracle and perhaps today will be the day that I can witness that despite the circumstances around me. Or perhaps not. Either way is ok and is exactly where I am meant to be on my spiritual journey. Check.

{HUG}

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2 thoughts on “Meltdowns are a sign of progress, yes?

  1. you are sooo on track with everything! Inner Peace and Knowing is glimpsing you all along the way.  Do you feel it?  Ah yes, there it is…. oops there it goes! lol   That’s how it will be until it’s not.   Doing the work is our purpose here.  No, not getting things perfect, never getting angry or having a melt down,  our purpose is observing these attachments and perspectives with the Grace of our Creator at our side.  Inviting Creation to observe with you.   No finger pointing comes from Oneness, we do that ourselves.  There is no guilt in Heaven. No guilt!  wow wouldn’t that feel sublime!  No guilt for me, you or the worst criminal in the world.  Surely as “bodies” there is guilt, and painful acts of unkindness done to others and self, but the Soul remains as perfect and innocent as it was Created to be.   More quiet seconds of remembering the Truth of who we are as One Son, a Spiritual Beingness, rather than a body.  Choosing to let all else come in, go out without “sticking” as truth, ahhh there it is, this is where I wish to hang my hat.  I am so glad you blog and that I have access to it….  it will give me joy to observe my dear friend as she grows expotentially!  You are my heroess!  keep on keeping on and know I Love you!  No matter here or in GA (did I tell you sister is in Marietta?) Future visits! woohoo huge hugs, m

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