“The universe has been around for 13.8 billion years, and the processes that determine the flow of life around us did not begin when we were born, nor will they end when we die. What manifests in front of us at any given moment is actually something truly extraordinary–it is the end result of all the forces that have been interacting together for billions of years. We are not responsible for even the tiniest fraction of what is manifesting around us. Nonetheless, we walk around constantly trying to control and determine what will happen in our lives. No wonder there’s so much tension, anxiety, and fear. Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation.”
Woah. I read this paragraph over a week ago. It was a clear reflection back at me on all of the challenges I am currently going through. Sometimes someone comes along and explains things in such a way that you finally understand. I knew about letting go. I knew I couldn’t control my world, but upon reading this, I KNEW. It hit home. Life is going to keep passing me by. What I am going to do about that? Keep trying to control it? Keep having anxiety? Keep living in the future wondering how I can plan it so it will work out the way I want? *looking back at myself* How is that working out for you?
What I have decided to do is spend the greater part of this week experimenting for myself. Experimenting with surrendering. Learning what that feels like. Watching what happens in life. Recognizing patterns that don’t seem to be working for me. And, what have I done with that information? Nothing for the most part. I have simply observed. I have practiced watching life unfold while not judging or expecting specific outcomes. The key word there is practice. That is another thing I have observed. This is not something that will typically change for anyone overnight. (Especially those of us so rooted in control) That’s why it is called a practice. When I observe myself feeling anxious or wanting to control an outcome, I take a few moments to breathe. Or, if I have time, I meditate (anywhere from 3-60 minutes, the length of time doesn’t make a huge difference)
I wish I could share with you the peace I have felt. I wish I could share with you the gratitude in my heart for this incredible opportunity to see life in a new light. I wish you could see the turmoil that still exists to know that this is not an easy process. But, Oh My God is it worth it.
Love and light to you all.