In our quest to become the best we can be, growth is inevitable. The thing is growth is hard. Change is hard. We want it, but we don’t want to have to do anything to make it happen. That requires work. Hard work that well, is just hard. So, if you are anything like me, you read about it. Think about it. Read about it some more and hope for the best. Well, now I know. I understand how I need to change, yes! I am ready, bring it on. Then, I wait. And wait. And wait. Nothing happens. Well, shit.
I turn to my friends for help. “What am I doing wrong? How can I change?” Their reply? “What do you think you need to do to make this happen?” “Well, I read all about it and I understand the change!” “Ok, so what do you need to DO?” Shit. This is the point where I want to scream at them because I know they are right.
So, I turn to my husband with tears in my eyes, “I’ve done everything I can, why isn’t change happening?” (hoping for a different answer than my friends here) His reply? “Have you really done everything? I’m pretty sure you already know what more you need to do.” As I restrain myself from punching him in the neck I exhale loudly and curse under my breath. Then, he laughs. And, I want to punch him harder through my own frustrated giggles.
It’s so easy to complain. It feels so good to get sympathy. Every time I turn to someone in this way I don’t really want them to tell me how I can change, I want them to say, “Oh honey, you are doing such a great job. Just take a breath and relax. You’ve done enough.” That would feel amazing. For like a minute. Then the change that needs to happen would well up and begin pushing against my heart screaming for acknowledgement. Helloooooo? I’m still here. You must pay attention to me!
So, what is that one thing that you need for growth?
It’s the desire to want it bad enough.
Yup, that’s it. Seems like such a small simple thing, but it is everything. If you are still in the process of complaining about your challenges, then you don’t want it bad enough yet. When the pain of remaining as you are becomes stronger than your fear of change you will be ready. And, you will know when it happens because seemingly out of nowhere you have the strength to do those things you thought you could never do in the name of change. In the name of growth.
Sounds frustrating, right? Here you are knowing you need to change, but now you have to wait to want it? Yes and no. You won’t be ready until you want it bad enough, but in the meantime there are things you can do to pass that time productively.
- Stop complaining. All you are doing is affirming that you are not the person that you want to be. You begin to manifest more of what you don’t want to be. This slows growth.
- Count your blessings. I know it can be tough especially during some of your darkest hours, but there is always, always something to be thankful for. Be thankful that you want to change if nothing else.
- Ask for help. Not from your friends, but from whatever spiritual/religious entity you believe in. Ask for help from angels, spirit guides, Jesus, God, the Universe. Even if science is the only thing you believe in, ask energy for help.
- Let go and know that change will happen on its time. This is the hardest thing to do. (for me and anyone else that wants to control EVERYTHING) The best part is that once change happens it will usually come quite unexpectedly because you are no longer focused on it. It’s such a sweet surprise. Then, when it’s time for change to happen again you are familiar with this step and it becomes easier and easier to do.
I am so proud of you for the growth you have already accomplished in your life. Take time to acknowledge that for yourself. Even if the only accomplishment you have is reading this post. It’s a positive step in the right direction to live your best life. You are doing great. It can be frustrating to not be where you want to be in life. But, it truly is all about the journey. Celebrate each milestone. Always take a moment to look back at how far you have come.
And, if you need a little support and encouragement along the way, I am here. Feel free to reach out to me. I would love to hear from you. Melinda@myyearofhugs.com