Jealousy is brutiful.

Brutiful: A mix between the word brutal and the word beautiful. While it was originally used in Death Metal this word has found its way into spiritual conversations. It’s become a way of describing the messiness of life. Because no matter how brutal life is, what a beautiful gift it is to have. Brutiful.

So, I have begun going to a modern dance class on Friday nights. Last Friday there were two women there who belonged to Atlanta Opera. They had been given the opportunity to take classes at Atlanta ballet and they were taking advantage. One of the women was drop dead gorgeous. And, she was graceful, elegant, and appeared to be carefree. I hated her. Except not really. Which got me to thinking. Aren’t there some times where you just wish you could walk up to someone and say,

“You are incredibly gorgeous, graceful and elegant. I hate that. Want to be my friend?”

Seriously though, wouldn’t that be awesome? You just kind of get that out of the way, break the ice and become besties. It’s a win all around. Because really, I was just jealous. She embodied everything that I want to be like. I wanted to BE her. The thing is that I will often just slink away from people like that thinking that I am less than. Not. Any. More. I am not less than and wouldn’t life be amazing if I could acknowledge that AND make a new friend in the process? Hello! Given the chance again this week, I will try and make two new friends from Atlanta Opera.

What does this have to do with Brutiful? It has everything to do with it for me. I have always shied away from the messiness of life. Anything that doesn’t feel comfortable must be bad, right? Wrong! Things that feel brutal are what allow me to become the best version of myself. I am beginning to see that now. I am beginning to welcome the messiness and uncomfortable sensations knowing that by stepping into them, I can be an even greater version of myself than I ever thought possible.

Everyday I am grateful for this brutiful life.





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