No. no. no. no. no. no.
Oh my God. I have tried seeing things from other people’s perspectives. I have tried to own my part in how Trump became the candidate for the Republican party. Last night pushed me over the edge. He is so far removed from his Truth and so far removed from his connection with Self that hate, fear, and ego have overtaken him. I can’t. I can’t accept that he may be a representative of our country. I can’t accept that his hateful views will not only become a way of life, but continue to encourage and create new groups that will foster these views.
Last night Trump stooped to a new low for me. I had been ignoring the “locker room banter” that was released last Friday because I knew it would be too much for me to bear. Now, I wish I hadn’t because perhaps the pain I have felt since last night would be lessened. I would have had time to adjust. But no, when I found out he was going to interview 4 women who accuse Bill Clinton of sexual assault I just about lost my shit. No. no. no. no. no. no. no.
I didn’t watch the interview because it was low. Even for Trump. Bill’s escapades have absolutely nothing to do with Hillary or this election. He just wanted the focus off of him and he did this by exploiting more women. If these accusations are true, I hope Bill is/has been brought to justice but Trump has just proven once again that he feels no compassion or remorse. I doubt he even apologized to those women for speaking the way he did 11 years ago. I mean, he is still sticking with his story that it was just ‘locker room talk’.
Bull Fucking Shit.
That is not locker room talk. It is rape fucking culture. It is the reason why 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 6 boys are molested. This is not acceptable. This can’t keep happening. Do you have any idea what this does to a person’s life? He sure as hell doesn’t. I don’t know a single person that has overcome their childhood sex abuse with grace and ease. It fucking hurts. It kills relationships. It kills the soul. It kills dreams. It creates a culture of people who think they aren’t good enough and blindly follow where they are lead by people who were probably abusers themselves. People who have been abused find themselves seeking refuge in drugs, alcohol, food, anything and everything that will help them avoid their feelings, avoid their pain.
When they finally find the strength to feel, it is almost more than one can bear. Some can’t. The rest that do spend years sorting through those feelings. They hurt over and over again. They watch those around them that they love hurt over and over again and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. It must be walked through. And, the process is not quick. I mean, I am talking 10 years or more. Do you have any idea how much pain that is? Have you ever felt pain so devastating that you just want to rip your own heart out and stop feeling anything anymore ever? Can you imagine how it would be to feel that pain over and over again for the next 10 years? I doubt Trump has.
Over the past two days, I have been catapulted back into my own dark recesses. I have returned once again to the pain that rips my heart out every time I must heal another piece of my broken soul. My God it hurts so much. I can’t sit back and watch our country go backward in time and allow separation between us continue. We are all one. We all hurt, heal, and love the same when we are connected to our true selves. We need a President that will continue to expand on this sense of community, not tear it down. Only then can our country’s wounds be healed. Only then can we find our way back to each other. Only then will we start helping each other rather than tearing each other down. Only love is the answer.
Let’s rise together in love and do whatever the fuck it takes to keep Trump from turning us against ourselves.